I can't get the computer to upload my pictures, so I will try later, but I have the feeling lately that I need to savor each moment of each day. The kids have decided to go back to school next year, and I am trying to just savor each late morning, and each bit of day that I get to be with them and teach them. I have to admit, I love being the one to introduce them to new things and teach them cool tricks. I will miss it terribly. I also realize that if I am going to get this school thing done, something has got to give. I am trying to not feel like a failure, but have such mixed emotions. I actually am looking forward to some time with just the girls, since if I tell the truth, they don't get my attention like the boys did, because I am always helping the boys with school. I really loved the leisurely schedule of home school. Loved getting to read to my kids everyday, have devotional and do arts with them. I am hoping that I can get my school done, and then do home school again when I can really focus on just them.
I am loving the easy pace of life and the satisfaction I get from our land and animals. There is truly a peace that I feel here, even if it is mixed with longings for home. I am thinking that those feelings are probably stronger now because I miss my parents while they are on their mission. I am content in our surroundings and love each one of my kids so immensely. They bring so much pure JOY to me. They are so GOOD. I don't know where they get it, but they are inherently good. They never cease to amaze me with their abilities. I bask in their perfection, because to me they are perfect, and a great reminder of what is truly important in this life.
I watched the primary kids sing is sacrament meeting "I Know that My Saviour Loves Me" the new song they are learning this year and I saw Mara, only four, sing every word with such conviction that I couldn't help but feel her knowledge: that she just knew. I was struck by how innate that knowledge comes to these kids. They do know, and what a great responsibility it is to help them keep that knowledge.
I am grateful for each day and each moment that defines my life-good and bad, for they are all experience and I will take it! I am so far from getting there, but each day I just keep trying! and that trying is all that is required.
5 comments:
I am sorry that you are having to send them back to school. Just think though you will get to have more tea parties and dress up days now. Thank you for your post. IT is so true how much these kids know our Savior and his plan. Elsie the other day was saying I love Heavenly Father, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost over and over. I have to say those are the moments that make it worth it.
Love LOVE LOVE your blog! Thanks for the reminder.
Melanie, I know I probably sound like a broken record, but you are amazing! Home school or public school, your kids will be amazing because either way you are still their mom! Thanks for the great reminder of what is really important in life! You are great!
WOW! melanie that was a great post! you are amazing in all that you do!
Melanie... What can I say.... You made us cry at the thought that we are your parents and grandparents to your Truly Amazing Children.
We love you for the GOOD person you are and they way you and Ryan are such wonderful parents and try so hard! Almost makes us want to start over and see if we couldn't be better. We miss you so much and know that Heavenly Father watches over us ALL!
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