Tender Mercies from a Loving Heavenly Father

In our church we have the blessing of paying tithing. I have always loved to pay tithing. The fact that I am so blessed by my Heavenly Father in so many ways overwhelms me sometimes as I don't feel worthy to be blessed so abundantly. The fact that I can give 10% back to him, has always been a privilege. Never a question, never a thought as to how much, just a flat 10% always paid, always paid first. This last four years has been hard for us. Hard emotionally, hard financially, and hard physically. We have encountered obstacles that I never dreamed of. Been faced with challenges that for us seemed more than we could bare. Had bills that there was no way of paying.

I had an experience many years ago when Ryan and I were trying to get out of debt, that was life changing. I had just listened to conference and they had yet again encouraged us all to get out of debt. I remember thinking "why do they keep saying that? Those who can do, and those who can't...well they can't." I felt that we couldn't. We were living within our means, but college loans, and car loans and a few credit cards that came with the marriage were looming.
Then I read Nephi's response in the Book of Mormon when his father told him that the Lord required them to go back to Jerusalem for the plates of brass. That would have seemed impossible, that would have been very scary, difficult and overwhelming. But he didn't say no, he didn't say impossible, he said "I will go and do it." Why? Because it was a commandment and he knew that the Lord wouldn't command him to do it, unless it was possible.
It was a new thought for me, I had read this story so many times, but this time, I applied it to the commandment to get out of debt and knew, without a doubt, that since the Lord(through His prophets) commanded us to get out of debt he would help us do it. It totally worked. He helped us in so many ways to fulfill that commandment that seemed impossible to accomplish. We have stayed out of debt since then.

I also have always wanted a big family. I have since the time I was little wanted 10 children. I have always loved babies, children and teenagers. I have always felt that the Family Proclamation was just obvious declarations of truth. I have felt that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth was important, and have felt it very important to allow as many children as the Lord wanted to send our family to come. Then fast forward seven kids later and many experiences with people preaching "overpopulation" and that having large families is "selfish" and finances not being as plentiful, and more people dependant on one income, and doubt has crept into my little brain.

We are short about $400 every month. I have been thinking if I could just find a job with flexible hours, when Ryan or the older boys could be home, that would pay $400 a month, we would have a little more money for gas and food and piano. We don't do a lot of extra-curricular activities, but piano. With 3 boys taking lessons though, it is $150 a month and that is the last thing we could give up and I really don't want to. I feel like that is something that is really important that our boys do, but it is seeming impossible. If I just had a way to make about $400. Then one day a thought struck me. I pay $400 in tithing each month. I know exactly where that thought came from. Not a good source.But We were desperate at that point. I had no money, food to buy, lessons to pay for, fees that needed to be paid and a Doctor bill ( for the first time in 12 years). I was thinking okay, how are we going to do this. I was so fearful. It was such a dark time. Here I was, I had all these kids that I love greatly and enjoy fully, and we couldn't make it without going into debt, and I knew if we went into debt, we would be breaking a commandment, if we didn't pay tithing we would be breaking a commandment. I felt like there was nothing I could do. And just when I thought it was impossible, Tender mercies poured down upon us. Ryan gets paid every other week, so every once in a while (two or three times a year) we get an extra check that doesn't have to go for bill. Just when I thought there was no way to stay out of debt, an entire extra check came.

Why do I doubt? Why do I fear? How many times does the Lord have to show me that he is in charge and mindful of us? That he commands and prepares a way to keep those commandments, and provides blessings beyond measure when we do keep those commands.

Many look at us and judge. Many don't understand why we pay tithing. Why I don't work. Why we do "without much of the worlds goods" Why we rely so much on the Lord. Why we have so many children. Why we live such a simple life. The truth. I love it. I love my children. I love the simplicity. I love the JOY they bring to me. I think we are happy. I think they are happy. We do without much, but do we really? Do we really need ALL the world has to offer? Do we really do our children an injustice or rob their childhood by teaching them to work? To earn their own money? To save for what they really want? To weigh what they want NOW over what they want in the long run? I don't believe so. I hope they grow to be responsible citizens who love their country, love their fellowmen, but most importantly love their GOD. I just hope my example is enough, and that the Lord makes up the rest.